May is Mental Health Awareness Month: Self-Awareness for Reliable Screening
by Louise R. Zito and Beth M. Karassik
Self-Awareness for Reliable Screening
In the previous blog we talked about leaning in to the discomfort that often arises while screening potential clients. Pay attention to yourself. Are you uncomfortable, fidgety? Are you frightened? Are you concerned that you don’t have the required skills? Thinking about bringing someone else in? Are you triggered by something? Are there mental health concerns in your own life?
If you notice yourself feeling uncomfortable, look deeper into your reactions. Where do you feel it in your body? Physical sensations are signs to pause and consider what is going on for you. Try to get clear on what you are reacting to. Is it bringing up some biases or judgments that will get in the way of your working with the client? Maybe this is an opportunity to examine those biases and judgments. Be aware of them and let them go, if you can. Sometimes you can’t and that’s ok. Accept that in yourself. (For further discussion on acceptance and clarity, join us for Wise Wednesday Lunch Break on May 14th at 1:00pm. Put in link ). This may not be the right fit for you. You would be doing yourself and the clients a disservice to push yourself into a situation that does not work for you, at least, not now.
Are you frightened? You might be frightened and not understand why. You might be aware of something from your past that makes this situation scary for you. Maybe you are anticipating something that has you fearful of how this will unfold in the future. Are you afraid of the clients’ reactions? Maybe you are afraid that it will cause you harm. This may be something that you could use some help to understand and work through. Notice if you are uncomfortable or feel ashamed to reach out. After all, this is Mental Health Awareness Month, right?
Do you find yourself particularly “triggered” because of mental health issues in your history, family, or friends? So many different emotions arise in our work with couples who are divorcing. Their emotions are running high and you may be concerned about how to manage that. Many professionals who are of service to others often have a history of caregiving and trying to manage the reactions of others in their family. So many things in the negotiation room can resonate with and trigger this earlier history. These automatic reactions get in the way of being objective about what is happening in the room and interfere with our best thinking.
Maybe in addition to what is going on with you, you are concerned that you don’t have the required skills to work with this couple? If you think this process is good for them and good for you, consider bringing in someone to partner with you in navigating this divorce.
It is essential to pay attention to yourself, to be present in your initial intake, to recognize that mental health issues may be present, and be able to honestly assess whether or not you should accept this client and, if so, be able to provide the correct structure for yourself and for them. Be curious and explore your habitual ways of responding and relating to others and yourself.
